THE BIG 30.

I promise the number may seem a little scary, but once you hit this age, you’ve seemed to stop caring so much what other’s think or say. It’s like a balloon that is somehow set free! Free to first off, stop trying to shop at Forever 21 anymore and free to be you!

I remember being 29, only a week away from being 30 and having this anxiety attack. Would my world suddenly come to an end next week? Would all the men in Los Angeles think I was “too old” too date? What happens to a girl who looks like she’s in her twenties, feels like she is in her teens, yet somehow that damn driver’s license says otherwise?!?

The very recollection of this memory makes me giggle, because in fact the very opposite happened. But of course, without fail, I did experience some morons who tried to prove me right.

I was set up by a friend on a date with a guy who’s sister is a famous actress and his brother-in-law is even a bigger name in Hollywood. My friend told me he was super cool and laid back. We went on a few dates, had an amazing time together until he made a comment that would forever change the way I viewed age.

On about our fourth or fifth date, we somehow got on the topic of women’s age. Unannounced to him, I was one of the girls he was rambling on and on about. He said “well you know it’s funny in Los Angeles, women disappear when they turn 30.” Baffled and in disbelief, I laughed nervously as I sipped my shiraz, “I’m sorry,” I said, “women disappear?? where do they go? Is there a purgatory for 30 yr olds?”

He proceeded to tell me that men in LA preferred to date women 21-29 because somehow when women get to 30, they are soo bitter about their past relationships that it makes them virtually impossible to date. After gulping my wine at this point, I took a deep breath and asked, “Is that what is going to happen to me next week?”

Amused and confused, he smiled and replied “No beautiful, you have a few more years before that will happen to you.”

I laughed again, and remarked, “I turn 30 in a week.”

Silence filled the air as the expression on his face went from laughter to shock. He had no clue how old I was and he thought I was in my mid-twenties. So I’m not sure I believe his little theory about women “disappearing” when they turn 30. Because I am still very well here. But I do think that women smarten up when we turn 30 to not date douchebags that are age-ists anymore. I think if LA men can’t date a sexy, smart, and successful 30 year old it’s only because of one reason, they are insecure and know that we won’t put up with their games. (laugh)

What does 30 look like? I’ve always been told “You don’t look 31.” I use to question that all the time. Does 30 have a look? If 40 is the new 20, does that make 30, the new 10? because I am not sure I want to go back to being 10 again. Now when I get told I don’t look my age, I can smile and say, “This is what 31 looks like and it feels even better.”

NOISY NEIGHBORS.

The problem with apartment living is, although the rent is cheap, you can’t choose your neighbors. For three years, I’ve lived in the same 1200 sq ft apartment in Beverly Hills on a gorgeous tree lined street. I always loved living here. I could walk my dogs at night without a fear, (except for the occasional coyote that I may see from a distance).

But neighbors, …why it’s almost certain that we’ve lost our manners as a society. Just the other week, I was getting pedicures with my three best friends and we all were Facebooking and Tweeting about being at the nail salon together and asking each other what color we were getting. Pretty sad, when I looked up, I thought wow! why are we “social networking” instead of talking to each other when we are all less than 5 ft away from one another?!?

And we’ve seen it at dinners too— next time you are out at dinner, take a look around. Count how many people either pick up their IPhone or Blackberries during their meal. It’s almost like the iPhone and Blackberry are an invited guest at the table. And the sad thing is this is now becoming normal!

But back to my noisy neighbor dilemma, …last week three adults and 3 screaming 3 year olds moved into my complex and let alone, in the apartment above me. These apartments all have hardwood floors, so I hear thunderous noises as the adults seem to allow their three 3 yr olds to run around constantly. How bad is the noise?? Think of horses galloping above you, to the point my two doggies are hiding under my bed and under the dining room table.

And when I was in the middle of a client fitting last week for Oscars, my lovely assistant went upstairs to see if she could get my new neighbors to stop for a bit, she was told by one of the mothers’ “They are three, what would you like me to do? Do you have duck tape?”

When my assistant returned, I was furious. I know you can’t teach a parent how to PARENT their own child, but geez Louise, have a little common courtesy. And duck tape? Well I don’t own any, but I will go buy some if it will do the trick!

At night it’s worse, the babies are screaming until 2am. It reminds me of SATC 2 “Somehow we were stuck between sex and a screaming baby.” It’s not like I can invite anyone over to my place for a ‘sleepover’ when I have the lovely accompaniment of a screaming baby over my sexy Sade album.

Now, when I hear the little crazies running, I turn up my music really loud until it stops, you’d think because we asked nicely it wouldn’t have to be this way. Sound off, though, I wanna know, who else has had crazy neighbors??

PLENTY OF FISH, …IN THE SEA OR ONLINE?

You know the saying, whenever your heart gets broken, “There are plenty of fish in the sea”. This is suppose to make you feel better and also make you realize that there is someone else out there for you. But the phrase originated when dating was a bit simpler. Back when our grandparents met. You know, classic case of boy meets girl. boy likes girl. boy asks girl out.

In the dot com age of dating, could our soulmate be just a click away? Like ordering take-out? We all have our lists, but can we really customize our love life now too??

One in five relationships begin online, that is what the commercials say, right? Have we gotten into such a tech savvy world where ordering a mate is just like ordering a pizza?

Yes, I’ll take one male that is handsome, above 6ft2, dark haired, mediterranean background, olive skin, athletic (but not a meathead), perfect teeth, great job, loves his family, easy on the sarcasm, well you get the idea. Can we really request, yet somehow get what we want?

Sites like Match.com, eHarmony, Plenty of Fish, make it seem like it’s simple, but what are some of the things that you may not know? Here are some of the things me and my girlfriends have learned:

• Some people use fake or old photos.
• Some lie about their age.
• Some lie about their profession.
• Some lie about their sexuality.

So what does this mean for you? It just means, that although it may seem like a no-brainer to meet someone online, be very cautious of who you “get to know”. Also, read some of the funny and not so funny stories that me and my girls have encountered. Always remember a simple little rule, “If it seems too good to be true, it usually is.”